40 Days of Mourning

In many Muslim communities, when a person dies the family is told: “There is a special 40th day – make a gathering, recite, feed people, and the soul needs this.” Sometimes people say: “If you don’t do the 40 days, you are disrespecting the dead,” or they believe that certain du‘as on that day will guarantee forgiveness and Paradise.

From a Qur’an-first perspective, we ask a simple question: Did Allah make the 40th day an obligation or a special gate to Jannah? If the answer is “no text in the Qur’an”, then we must admit that this timing is culture, not revelation.

The idea of a special memorial on the 40th day after death is well-known in Eastern Orthodox Christianity and some other Christian traditions. After a person dies, there are memorial services on the 3rd, 9th and 40th day, and then yearly anniversaries.

In that tradition, people believe that the soul passes through different “stages” and that on the 40th day there is a special status or judgment. Families often keep mourning and avoid celebrations during these 40 days, then hold a bigger gathering and church service on day forty.

Notice: this is not something from the Qur’an. It developed inside Christian theology and church practice long after ‘Isa (Jesus) عليه السلام. Muslims who live among Christians, or under Christian-rule cultures, naturally saw these customs and many simply copied them.

In many places, Muslim society lived side by side with Christian communities that already had strong 40-day mourning customs. Over time, some Muslims:

• Set a fixed mourning period of 40 days;
• Held large gatherings or “khatams” exactly on day 40;
• Linked that date with guaranteed forgiveness or a special “certificate” for the deceased;
• Put pressure on families – “If you don’t do the 40 days, you are being sinful or disrespectful.”

Step by step, a Christian-style custom became treated like a Shar‘i rule in Muslim communities. Scholars, imams, and cultural leaders repeated it. Parents taught children that “this is Islam,” even though Allah never revealed that rule in His Book.

When we turn a cultural habit into a religious requirement, we are effectively giving those leaders, imams, and cultures a share in Allah’s right to legislate. This is exactly what the Qur’an warns about – taking rabbis, monks, or scholars as lords in the sense of obeying them in invented religion instead of checking the revelation.

The Qur’an speaks about death and mourning many times, but the guidance is different from cultural “40 days”:

• No fixed 40-day ceremony. There is no verse telling us that the soul is judged on the 40th day or that specific du‘as must be done then.
• No paid intercession packages. Allah says that on the Day of Judgment, no soul will benefit another soul and no intercession will be accepted except what Allah allows (2:48, 2:123). No imam, “shaykh package” or 40-day gathering can guarantee Jannah.
• Normal grieving is allowed, but not unlimited. The Qur’an mentions that widows have an ‘iddah of four months and ten days (2:234). That is for marriage status and waiting period, not a special religious party on day 40.
• We are tested by loss. 2:155–157 reminds us that we will be tested by death and loss, and those who say “Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji‘un” are the ones who receive Allah’s mercy and guidance.
• Following parents and culture blindly is not accepted. 2:170 and similar verses expose those who say: “We follow what we found our fathers upon” even when it contradicts the truth.

The problem is not that a family gathers to read Qur’an or to make du‘a. The problem is when people attach to the number 40 what Allah never attached to it.

• Turning culture into religion. Saying “Islam commands a 40-day ceremony” when Allah never said this is speaking about Allah without knowledge (7:33).
• Business out of grief. Some make money from these events – fixed prices for readings, fancy tents, food – while poor families feel forced to spend what they don’t have just “to keep face”.
• False guarantees. Claims like “this guarantee’s your father’s forgiveness” create a fake sense of security. The Qur’an makes clear that each soul is accountable for itself (6:164, 53:38–41).
• Blind trust in imams and sheikhs. Many do it simply because a scholar, sect, or elder said so. But 17:36 teaches us not to follow what we have no knowledge of – ears, eyes and hearts will all be questioned.

If the religion was already perfected in the Prophet’s time, then adding new fixed rituals like 40th-day mourning as if Allah commanded them means we are accusing the message of being incomplete.

• Accept the decree. Remember 2:156 – we belong to Allah and we return to Him.
• Support the family. Visit, comfort, help them financially if needed, without turning it into a show or a competition in food and decorations.
• Make sincere du‘a. You can ask Allah at any time to forgive the deceased. No need to wait for day 40, day 3, or any invented date.
• Do ongoing charity. Encourage family to help the poor, support education, or other good works – but again, without attaching this to a fixed invented date.
• Educate gently. When people insist on 40 days, you can explain calmly: “This is from Christian custom and culture, not from the Qur’an. If you want to gather, we can, but we must not claim Allah commanded it or that it guarantees Paradise.”